Avvocati!

These are from a book called Disorder in the Court.
These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken
down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Some of these are excellent - don't miss the last one.
Q. What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.


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Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the
impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.


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Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of
something that you've forgotten?


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Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember
which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.


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Q: What was the first thing your husband said to
you when he woke up
that
morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.


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Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person
dies in his sleep, he doesn't
know about it until the next morning?


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Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how
old is he?


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Q: Were you present at the time your picture was
taken?

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Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was
August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?


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Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?


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Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?


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Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?


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Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant
to a deposition notice
which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I always dress when I go to
work.


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Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed
on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead
people.


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Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What
school did you go to?
A: Oral.


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Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the
body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why
I was doing an autopsy on him.


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Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?


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Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did
you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was
alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a
jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive,
never the less?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
alive and practicing law somewhere.


 

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